I've posted here a few times regarding my beatiful mom.

My mom and dad had always wanted me to have their house - the house where I lived for 21 years - when something happened to them. I have two older half-brothers (there's about 30 years between them and myself) to throw into the mix. My father passed in 2001 and I just lost my mom March 30, 2007.

In February 2005, my mom decided it might be wise to revise her will as she was 79 and afraid that a nursing home might walk in and steal the house. She put the house in my name and gave me DPOA. She got sick March 2006 and I had to put her in a nursing home October 2006.

Fast forward to yesterday - the day of my mom's funeral service. I get a phone call from one of my "brothers" a half hour before we're supposed to be at the funeral home that they want me to bring the will to the funeral home and we can use the conference room at the funeral home and go over it immediately after mom's funeral. OK, excuse me, but this is just sick and they're just greedy bastards - mom wasn't even in the ground yet!

So, I brought the will to the funeral home as requested and had the funeral director make copies for them - I was so shocked that of all days they felt the need to do this that I told them I wasn't up to talking about it immediately after mom's funeral.

When my husband and I got home, we had a message from mom's attorney to give her a call. She said the nastiness is already starting and that she had received two voice mail messages. One from a sister-in-law and the other from the "brother" who asked me to bring the will to the funeral home. He was ranting and raving, saying mom was not of sound mind and body, etc.

So, my plans to move into my childhood home are on hold and this could bring financial ruin to my husband and I if we have to fight this in court.

Has anyone else had to deal with this sickening greed and contesting of wills and if so, how has it panned out? Did you have to go against your loved ones wishes to satisfy someone's greed or did the will stand in court?

Ms. Cherokee:

I'm so sorry to read about this and mostly, the loss of your mother. My heart felt condolences to you. I too recently lost my father (January 5, 2007) and it's been extremely difficult.

Disgusting behavior and the timing of all this is especially cruel. I'm very sorry for you that you're facing all this.

Contesting a will is all too common but the odds are in your favor. Although a will is not meant for proof-reading by anyone prior to one's passing, if your mother was of sound mind when she had it drawn up, it will be difficult to challenge now that she's passed. There are 2 factors typically exercised when contesting a will. One is undue influence in executing the will and the other is that there was a lack of testamentary capacity.

The exercise of undue influence is suggested by excessive insistence. Testamentary capacity is the legal ability to make a will. So in short, your mothers mental capacity at the time in which she drew up her will, will be very telling in proceeding. If her will was drawn up by an attorney, he should have input testimony as to her mental status at that time.

I know this could be extremely expensive to defend but clarity can be shed on opposing parties before it goes too far.

Don't despair. The best of luck to you with this and again, I'm so very sorry for your loss.

MC OH GOD YES! Did I go through this Cr**?!
Nice huh. Bet they barely spent an hour with her ta boot either.
Was she considered of sound mind when all this legal was taken care of?
As long as she was great. And let me say how sorry I am at your loss and what you are now facing.
I also went through this with my niece in regards to my brothers estate when he died shortly after my mom (BTW hes the one that sued me) he disinherited her and her sister.
They have to go through some hoops on this one so just hold tight for now MC.
I guess they have a lawyer so they have to file papers in the Probate court division it takes up to a month or more depending on how many cases are on the docket and the lawyers for both sides will be addressing the judge at first then if the judge wants to hear arguments he will ask for you all to be heard from.
Its anyones guess how this will turn out it all depends on the frame of mind your mom was in at the time of the signing of these documents and the reasoning behind omitting her other children from the estate.
MC please keep us posted when you have time

As a side note MC Probate takes up to a year to close help your lawyer along by getting all relevant paperwork and bills before during and after and keep an accurate accounting of all expenditures for the closing of the estate so you can be paid back IF the home is sold due to the courts/judges decision. Anything you pay out of pocket for you are entitled to recoup if you are the executrix of moms estate. Dont feel guilty in the least bit they (bros) or lawyers would do the same I recouped all my costs in the end after I saw what bro was capable of you bet your butt I wasnt giving these ungrateful hounds a dam thing they werent entitled to.

MSCherokee, I send hugs to you. But what a beautiful time of year for your Mom to take that long journey!
Honey, way back in 2005 when you got the DPOA, was title to the house put in your name, or were you just made aware that it would be yours some day? If it's already YOUR HOUSE, and has been for over a year, what makes them think they can take it from you? Sounds like your Mom was of sound mind when she arranged everything.
Boy, the nerve of some people! You would think that big brothers would want to make sure their little sister was taken care of. Especially since it appears they were already grown and on their own when you came about.
Looks like the attorney your mom had is already familiar with "the boys". Let her handle the greedy bums. Right now, you just concentrate on healing your heart.

Donswife,

Yep, when she had her will rewritten in 2005, in order to avoid a nursing home swooping in and taking off with the home, she signed the house over to me. Even though I still call the home mom's house, it's technically mine.

Here's wishing I was an only child. Mom's hope was that my "big brothers" would be close to me and protect me instead of trying to attack me.

We've already got two lawyers working on this - mom's original attorney who may be called as a witness and an impartial attorney since we can't have mom's attorney represent us if she will be called as a witness.

MsCherokee, I'm so sorry about your mother, and the turmoil your brothers are churning up in your life.

But, I also need to correct something, just so that others reading this thread don't get the wrong idea.

Your parents can transfer assets (such as houses) to you but if they do, you run the risk that they will either not qualify for Medicaid, or that Medicaid will attempt to recover those assets in the event that they are owed money for nursing home care.

The look-back period used to be three years, now it is five. Please, please don't accept asset transfers from your parents without consulting an attorney specializing in elder care/Medicaid law.

Taj, GREAT HEADS UP INFORMATION

Taj,

You are so right. Mom had a wonderful eldercare attorney who helped her with the transfer and will.

We were fortunate that in Ohio at the time mom transferred the house into my name, her look back period was 23 months. The lawyer even included a document saying as much with all mom's paperwork. I do believe that it's also 5 years here now as well. We are in the process of paying the nursing home for the couple of months she was considered "private pay" - the gap between when her Medicare benefits stopped paying for the skilled nursing and when she became eligible for Medicaid.

Hi
This is my first posting. MS, sorry to hear about your mom. My mom died Sept. 10, 2006 of Parkinson's with dementia. She had no other health problems.

In my mom's will, it stated that my "brother" would be executor. She also made him POA back in 2003. She had to take 2 tries at signing the paperwork(her lawyer told me)

Well, sometime between 2003 and 2005, he put his name on all her accounts. ie:bank, ira, etc. In 2005, "he" bought a house with a bridge loan. The loan has my mom's name on it and the house is deeded to him. My mom owned a house in New Jersey. It was sold in March, 2007. He took the money from the sale and paid off the loan. I just found this out today. The estate lawyer handling this estate,my brother hired him said that my brother would settle with me for a very small amount of the will, plus none of my mom's possessions.

Can a person with dementia get a loan to buy a house and have it deeded to the POA? To me this sounds like fraud. Tomorrow I am going to call the attorney general's office in NJ to look into this. I would apreciate any hel. By the way, I was to get 1/2 of the entire estate.
Thank you

Uh Joan you go right ahead and get that lawyer toot sweet that IS fraud!
If I had wanted to continue on my nieces behalf (dont ask bein nice dont cut it sometimes) I could have proved my late brother was not in his right mind and my niece would have got what was rightfully hers. She procrastinated too long for me a lesson learned.
Your case sounds a little easier to prove theres a paper trail, so by all means hire a lawyer.
PS Her Lawyer will state this I hope that is a key piece that would be real helpful to you.

Welcome, joannemlc, I am sorry to hear you losst your Mom. Even a year ago, it can still be difficult. I am even more dismayed to hear of this difficulty between you and your "brother". I don't have answers for you about this estate.

Good luck in your search for answers. The AG sounds like a good start.

Welcome joan

At what point was the POA activated cause "legally"(I'm no lawyer) if bro was acting as her POA with his name listed on accounts as such he did have the right to make changes BUT not to benefit himself.

Thinking back to being POA for my Mom, I had the right to deed house to myself, but then again I was sole beneficiary per her will.

I would definitely consult an attorney on this and put a timeline together: places your Mom lived prior diagnoses, during & at time of death, include when she was diagnosed as this info will also help the atty you consult. In 2003 were changes made to her will or was it just the POA that she signed??

I am so sorry you have to go through all of this. The best advice is to talk to a lawyer. I had to with my brother and in the end it would take between 1 to 3 years and very expensive. My brother STOLE over $70,000. from my mom's estate. He had a reverse mortgage on her/where I lived takeing care of her house and financial POA. Of course he did nothing to help, even when the house was put up for sale. I did gt some money but not alot. There was a good posibility I would have nothing fighting him. I can just hope what goes around comes around and at least I have no regrets and my reputation is stil good.

Sorry to hear about the loss of your family. It is hard enough without the added stress of court.

I might add, if you do get an attorney, please check him out first. My siblings before my Mom died, forged a trust document and emptied all her cd's and cash, deeded the house to themselves for $25.oo each (forged) and took over the social security. They did not want me to spend their inheiritance taking care of Mom. And they knew I would too.

I hired and paid for the best attorney for Mom but not myself. My attorney after eight months came to court without calling a witness or preparing interogatories. My hand writing expert said to notify the bar association, which I did (wish I had not) and within two years he was appointed judge.

My siblings do not live close and now most of our small town believe the kids were just fighting over money.

Hope this helps,

Thanks everybody for your help and advice.
I have hired an attorney and we are waiting for the paperwork regarding my mom's last debts.
It surprised me that she had any debts because she was Very conservative with her money.
My "bro" got POA in 2003 and I think he put himslf as beneficiary on all her accouts right after. In 2005, is when he bought the house and somehow put my mom's name as the loaner and his name only on the deed.
The first estate attorney that he hired quit after a few months,now there is another attorney. The 1st attorney would not return our calls or letters.
My bro also wrote the acct. settling the estate a letter claiming my mom is a resident of NJ, but only living with him in PA as she was very sick. He did not tell them my mom's house was rented out and her belongings were gone from the house.
In 2005, I realized something was wrong regarding her finances(he would not sign her up for daycare, which she wanted to go to because there were too many financial papers to fill out and he told me she did not have any money to give her granddaughter(my daughter)for her high school grad, even though she ept telling me she wanted to give her something. He told me not to tell my mom she had no money. Un beknownst to me, that is when the house was bought.
I contacted elder care services in PA that I did not feel she was being taken care of properly and I believed he was taking her money for himself. That was a big mistake. They did nothing. What happened was my bro got a lawyer to write a letter telling me to stay away or I would be arrested. He told my mom about that and the last time I soke to her was her telling me not to come there, or I would be arrested. She feared for my safety and then he got an unlisted phone number and I could not speak with her again.I guess I was getting too close to the truth.
He also gave away or threw away all her belongings and refuses to give me anything. There was a piece of furniture she always wanted me to have, but I don't know where it is.
My parents must be looking down so ashamed of him. I can't believe someone would steal and not take care of someone who took care of him for 46 years of his life. He is a disgrace.
Thanks for listening. It helps to talk about it.

Welcome, Joan and good luck with getting things straightened out. It is so very sad to see how many elderly folks are fleeced - not by con artists, but by their own families!

I am sorry for your brother. He has wasted much of his life and tarnished the love and assistance your mother gave to him in hopes he would be a better man. It is so sad that many parents just cannot see the harm that their children can do them - a lesson for ALL of us who are parents to remember!

Best of luck! I hope you will keep us updated on how things are going with you and your fight to set things right in your mother's affairs.

Can I slap the family that asked to see a copy of Mom's will at the funeral home???? Please, just one good slap, not saying whether it will be with my hand or a baseball bat, lol.

Usually when you exchange property through a deed, the attorney that does the deed, will not touch it if she's not of "sound mind".

I know this cause my best friends attorney (which we both knew from work) wouldn't let her mom make a will at the time, cause she had dimentia. So now, she's having to split everything with a sister that had nothing at all to do with her Mom's care those last 2 years.

Deeds are quite different than a will. But I don't think an attorney would let anyone sign one thats not in "good sound mind". Not if he wants to keep his license.

I hope to see an update of this, and I sure wish it'd been ME they asked to see the will with my mother in the other room, not buried yet! Gawd.....what balls some family members have!

I'm sure they did nothing to help Mom in her hardest years. Then they expect something later?? Ok, ticks me off bad!

Hi Everyone:
I haven't posted for awhile, i am waiting to file for an accounting of my Mom's estate.
But I found some new info that I thought I would put on here for some of you to give me your opinions.As you know my Mom had end stages of Parkinson's with dementia and died on Sept. 10,2006 So here goes:

One month before she died, my brother POA made a mortgage modification on the house he and my Mom lived in. He put her name on the mortgage, but HE signed it as POA. The modification was for approx. $350K. Her name is NOT on the deed to the house, only the mortgage.

He then sells her house in NJ and uses most of the proceeds of that sale to pay off the mortgage on the other house which is in HIS name only.


He has also said she had NO personal possessions when she died to give me. I have not asked for much execpt pictures and a piece of furniture my Mom wanted me to have.

Any opinions and ideas to what happened would be appreciated. I am at my wit's end and want this over with.

quote:

Any opinions and ideas to what happened would be appreciated. I am at my wit's end and want this over with.

Joanne, I don't know what your mom's intentions were, nor your brother's financial circumstances nor yours. It SOUNDS like he pulled a fast one, but it also sounds like it would be difficult and expensive to prove. If he has no cash reserves or property other than the home he paid off with the money from the estate, the only way he could settle would be to give you a note for what he owes you or sell his house to pay. It's a sorry situation and very sad for you. You mother may have gone along with it to help repay him for watching out for her... There is no telling. Only a court can decide... and I am afraid that will be a battle royale. I hope that he settles with you out of court to save both of you wear and tear and the expenses of attorneys.

Hi Moms buddy
My brother does not have a job and does not want to work. My Mom would never have taken out another mortgage like that. For the last few years, she was very confused. My mom had not had a mortgage in about 30 yrs. She did not go to the bank with him to sign the papers. He took the entire estate and paid himself his executor fee, the estate lawyer fee, whome he knew the lawyer beforehand. (I believe he helped with the mortgage modification) After my mom's house in Nj sold, the estate lawyer quit and to my bio bro to get another lawyer. My mom would never have given him all that money. She had severe dementia and did not know what was going on around her. She always wanted her grandchildren to have money for college (my kids) bu the bio bro would not write the check she wanted him to. He is just angry with me since he had to so call "care " for my mom as I live a long distance away and she had always treated him like a little boy.He wanted someone to take care of him. My mom got very little medical care as I beleive he wanted all the money to himself. I contacted elder care services in PA because I was concerned for her welfare and they did nothing. That call to ECS made bio bro mad and that is when he decided to treat me this way. My mom thought he would be honest, but he is a very angry person. I wish that rep. from PA -Spector spent more time in PA dealing with Elder Services and try to fix what is wrong then going aftet the New England Patriots. I am going to go forward with some of this legal stuff as far as I can afford it(I have cashed in my IRA to pay my lawyer) The are lot of other things he has done with taxes and where she resided. I believe this case might go to the attorney general's office as things come to light. My mom was a very frugal woman and always said she wanted everything shared 1/2. He has taken the WHOLE estate and offered me a few thousand to go away. Also, no personal articles he will give me. He has no job,and all my parents money, so he has all day to think of
ways to cheat me.My mom and I were very close. She would never do this. My mom was always fair.I am looking forward to a judge to look over everything and see what he/she thinks. Everyone I have shown papers too, agrees that something is "wrong." I just can't wait till this is over, so then he will be out of my life forever. Sad, but true.