Can someone be legally forced to be a guardian of a elder parent? I was inquiring at a nursing home about nursing home care for my mother. They required a minimum of two years private pay for admission and required assets. They said there are basically no Medicaid beds at all in this state and only one nursing home in the entire state has a Medicaid bed and it's impossible to get into. I asked what happens to people if they don't have assets and can't afford private pay and can't get into the Medicaid bed. She said the family has to take them then. I asked what happens then if the family can't - if it's maybe only one person who has to work full time to pay the rent, car payment, etc. She said that the elderly person has to go live with a family member then and that the person's family will be made responsible and that the child will be legally responsible. Is that so?

Priscilla, I don't know where you are, but I do know you seem to be in a very difficult situation. Have you talked to your local center on aging.

The site I am listing here, is an extremely long list of links. Don't get overwhelmed. Scroll down until you find your state. Look those over first.
http://www.savvysenior.org/seniorresources.htm

Above all, don't panic. That "person" you talked to is not the last word. I can't even say what I think of her saying such a thing to you. You have only begun to find your options and support. Don't give up

I'm in SC. I've talked to the woman from the local Alzheimer's Association. She said there are no Medicaid beds here and that I'd have to take my mom back into my house. I can't do that. It's not an option. I'll check out the link you sent. Thank you. I'm overwhelmed and terribly worried about how this will all pan out.

priscilla, I have waded through some of it.

http://www.state.sc.us/ltgov/aging/Seniors/Seniors.htm#BenefitsAndServices

This one seemed to go some places that might apply. Money for senior programs is extremely tight in some places. Many of us find it hard to access resources. And there is no magic wand to whip up a bed that doesn't exist, but don't give up, never give up.

If you have the time, tell us a little about your circumstances and your Mom's situation. It might help us to help you.

She'll be 86 in November and has dementia. She's been in AL for almost 5 years now. My dad had Alz. and passed several years ago after being in a nursing home for years. There is no money left. The AL place she is in now is affordable but has been bought out by a new owner who is doing renovations and converting is. The monthly rate will go up by approx. $1,000-$1,500 which neither of us have the money for. All the AL around here costs that. I applied to Medicaid for her but found out from the Alz. Assoc. and the different nursing homes that even if she qualifies for the financial part of it, that community long term care must assess her and decide if she can go into a Medicaid bed and it's unlikely since bed ridden, etc. Neither she or I can pay for the increased assisted living or a nursing home and I've been told be several folks now that it's impossible to get an assessment from long term care for a Medicaid bed. It was told to me to look into a different state and even apply for Medicaid in other states even though I don't live there. I don't know why other states would give her Medicaid when she's not even a resident. I don't have the money to pay for her care; she doesn't have it and so they are telling me that I have to take her into my home, quit my job and care for her. I said I couldn't pay my bills if I quit working and her monthly income is not enough to pay the bills. That's when the nursing home lady told me that I would be made responsible for her and to pay her bills and to bring her into my home because it falls onto the family. I'm beside myself over this. So even if there is a Medicaid bed, long term care most likely will not approve her for it because she's not bed ridden. I'm sick over this and don't know what to do. How will I pay mortgage, rent, car payment, etc. Something's not right here.

people do make this work, priscilla. If you work daytime hours, She may be able to stay at a senior daycare while you work and her income may afford a part time companion for her.

I take it there is no other family that can chip in on this?? Ideally she would stay where she is comfortable. It is hard on dementia patients to have a big change in environment and routine, but of course you know that. Maybe there is a clause in her admissions contract that protects her from this kind of increase, though I doubt one of these places would be so would leave themselves open like this.

Hi Priscilla and welcome!
I looked quickly at some of the links members have posted and followed one to this place where I think you will find help. Besides the online forms, etc., there is a telephone directory of services for all counties in SC.
https://scaccess.communityos.org/

More SC Services...
http://www.state.sc.us/ltgov/aging/Information/Information.htm

http://www.state.sc.us/ltgov/aging/OurOffice/AdditionalResources.htm

This looks like it could have valuable information
http://www.dhhs.state.sc.us/dhhsnew/insidedhhs/bureaus/...20Long%20Term%20Care

http://www.dhhs.state.sc.us/dhhsnew/DivCommFac.asp

In addition, I do not know who you spoke with at your Mom's ALS, but the social worker or omsbudman should be able to assist you and give you correct information.

Here is a link to find your local Omsbudman - they do much more than just handle abuse and neglect...
http://www.state.sc.us/ltgov/aging/Seniors/Ombudsman.htm
"Ombudsmen receive complaints about long-term care services and then voice the residents’ concerns to nursing homes, residential care facilities, and other providers of long-term care.

Experience has shown that when residents and families understand the long-term care system, they are able to effectively act on their own behalf when problems occur. By educating residents, families, and facility staff, the Ombudsman Program fosters an understanding and knowledge of the long-term care system."

Here is a link to an elderlaw site... it is a directory for elder care lawyers in your state
http://www.southcarolinaelderlawattorneys.com/news.cfm/...rgia-Elder-Care.html

THis looks like a great site for SC Eldercare information...
http://www.carolinasenior.com/

I know this is a lot of links and there is a lot of reading to do... Sometimes, it helps to know the hoops through which one must jump for help and SOMEWHERE in all these links are folks who can definitively answer your questions.

Don't freak out and don't give up! Take a DEEP breath! Get that medicaid application completed and submitted (there are online forms at most of these links) because it takes a little time for the wheels to get rolling.

DO consult an eldercare attorney if you do not understand your rights and your mother's rights. There may be a consultation fee, so write down any and all questions so you can get the most bang for your buck!

I do not think they can throw your mom out on the street and I do not think anyone can force you to assume responsibility for her if you cannot do so! Remember: there MAY be assistance for a home caregiver that might make it easier for you TO keep her at home - adult daycare, caregiver services, etc. I sure did see a LOT of programs in your state that don't exist here in Louisiana!!

There are procedures for all of this and contingencies in case one way doesn't work out. Don't put too much stock in word of mouth or rumours - go straight to the horse's mouth for facts about your situation. A quick telephone conversation with a volunteer at the Alzheimer's Association may not reveal enough information for the volunteer to give you accurate information. There is also the possibility that the individual did not understand your position or know anything more to tell you! Speaking with your mom's case manager/social worker is also an option. Like I said, I don't know which or what officials you have spoken with... People are misinformed every day, so keep asking questions if the answers you receive do not make sense!
Hang in there and good luck! Let us know how things go and what you learn!

priscilla welcome in glad to have you
Hun dont get too scared they tried to pull the same thing here we live in California and while most NH's say they dont take Medi-cal *Medicaid's equivalent here* Someone has to step up to the plate its much easier when your LO is in the hospital the staffs Social Worker gives you a hand Do you have a Social Worker for your mom? If not call her PCP and ask him to refer you to one, if they dont cooperate (and this is only to be used as a last resort) Call APS and ask to speak to a case worker they will help you out also
Hope this helps

Thanks. I'm not sure what the different abbreviations stand for? APS? PCP? And I'm not sure how to get my mom a social worker. The place she's in now doesn't have one. I took her to her dr. last week, explaind the situation and was told they couldn't help. I will try to get her a social worker once I learn how. I think that would be a good idea. About ten years ago my mom went to an Elder Law attorney with my dad's alzheimers so all that paperwork is in place. Having her back in the home is not an option for me. The Medicaid process has been started but even if she's approved, if long term community care does not approve her for the bed, and everyone's telling me it's unlikely they will because she's not completely bedridden, she won't get a bed. I've even had the homes tell me I need to move her to a different state for a Medicaid bed. I don't think another state would give her a Medicaid bed when she doesn't even have residency. This seems like insanity with all these crazy answers from the folks I've talked to. The woman at the Alz Assoc talked to me for over an hour and she is the only paid person there for the three county area. None of this makes sense what they're telling me. I'm sick inside over all of this and worrying constantly about it. I'm afraid I'll wont' be able to make my mortgage & car payments or even pay my bills when they raise her rates at her AL place and I know I wouldn't be able to if she came into my house with me. I feel like I'm being squeezed to the point of losing my house at this point and all these people keep telling me is that even though it's difficult, it's the family's responsibility to take care of the elderly family member. The Alz Assoc person even told me if that were the case I would need to sell my hosue and move into an apt. Well how could I pay the rent then. I'm terrified over all of this. Thank you for letting me vent. I will check out those links and let you know what I find out. Thanks.

Morning priscilla, APS is Adult Protective Services. Usually we think of them as nosy troublemaking busybodies (that's why last resort) everynow and then they are shakers and movers and really come in handy. You might find them under an elder abuse hotline.

PCP is primary care physician. The link to your states Ombudsman that Mom's_Buddy listed for you I think would be my first step today.

Priscilla, was your dad a WWII vet by any chance? If you'll look through the older threads here in the legal forum, there are some discussions about monthly benefits for indigent vets and their widows.

We have a United Way charity in my area which will send out a social worker to help find benefits and services for elders, including those available from private charities. You might contact your local United Way to see if there is a similar service in your area.

Thank you. I just talked to the county ombudsman. She was very nice and gave me the name of an AL facility about an hour south of here that is affordable. She did say that there are no resources at all available if her expenses go over her monthly income. I don't kn ow what to do and how to pay for her diapers, meds., transport to drs., etc. The money's just not there. I'll look up and call United Way and Adult Protective Services. Thank you.

Oops - forgot to include this. No, my dad was not a vet. :-(

Reminder, APS is a last resort. Seldom do you want them involved, unless you feel your Mom is being abused (which of course this threat of forcing her out would seem to all of us, but probably not to the law). You would not want their attention most likely at this stage, only if push comes to shove.

You mentioned that your Mom consulted with an elder care att. about your Dad years ago. At that time, did you get power of attorney and Durable power of attorney.. (POA and DPOA) or have you since then done so? It may make a difference in how you are treated as your Mom's advocate, and also, just how responsible you are in this case.

I have durable power of attorney.

My problem is the expenses that go over her monthly income - incontinence supplies, etc. That adds up to hundreds each month and they're telling me that has to come out of my pocket since my mother has no more money. I don't understand this.

Im sorry Priscilla call me an abbreviation junkie the reason I mention APS is because sometimes they have resources they may know of that others dont since this is a portion of what they do when the elderly are displaced due to no longer being able to live on their own and have no relatives or unlimited resources at their disposal.
If you decide to give them a call be your sweet charming self
Sweetie the same thing happened to us here my MIL's SS checks were not enough to cover expenses of a Board and Care unit or Nursing home but they do find one for you that she can afford granted they may not look like those beautiful places you see in commercials but I have to say the one I ended up oking is great the people really do care and thats what matters to me

Thanks. THat's it exactly - her monthly amount is not enough to cover an inexpesive assited living plus the other expenses like incontinence supplies, OTC meds, scrips, haircuts, clothes, transport, etc. Everyone I've talked to has told me that I can be made legally responsible to pay the difference and that doesn't seem right to me. I can't afford to do that - how I will be able to pay my car payment, mortgage, etc. if I have to pay hundreds out each month for her. I can't do this yet even the ombudsman office today told me there are no resources for that here. I'm very upset and feel like this will cause me to miss payments. I can't do it. But I'm being forced to. I don't get it.

priscilla, Don't panic, Breathe, that is what has been said by all. Your Mom needs a place to be. She needs care, depends,transport, scrips, etc, above and beyond her room and board. That's a fact. Money is short from agencies, that is a fact.

Are you all you and she have?? Do you have children?, siblings? that is a factor if you are truely in a desperate situation. Do you truely need to turn her over as a ward of the state, if all else fails.

No. you should not have to quit a job that pays for your health insurance and your retirement, a home, a car, everything you have worked for. You seem to have looked at all the financial aspects. Some of us have found answers through the system for help, and others have found ways to make adjustments within the system, but there is no magic wand to make money happen. I buy Mom's incontinance supplies at Sam's club (their brand) big savings. Although there are still difficulties with the new Medicare prescriptions system, some doctors and pharmeceutical companies will find ways to get elders their meds. Many empoyers are understanding about elder care and (I know some are not) but at least some, will adjust your schedule, and allow time off when needed for an elder so that you can take them where and when they need to go and avoid costly transport. There are senior daycare facilities.

I don't know your Mom and her level of need, or you and your situation, but I know that many have been able to work things out. Find a balance, ways to do things less expensively. I sincerely hope you will be among those.

Thanks. No, I'm the only living child now and I don't children. It's all falling on me. How does someone become a ward of the state. When I've told the different homes/agencies my situation, that's when the one person and the one nursing home told me that I would be made to be legally responsible for her expenses and I would be made her legal guardian. That doesn't sound right and it has me in a panic. I've got her in a place that's almost an hour away from where I live because it's the cheapest. I don't have an employment situation that will let me take off any more for her without losing money. The local Salvation Army helped me get several month's supply of diapers when they had them available. That helped tremendously but it was a one time thing - they got a supply in that I was able to buy in bulk but they don't expect anymore. Still it was a huge help. If I have to continue to put out several hundred dollars each month, that's my car payment. If the home starts adding on more expenses, that cuts into my mortgage, etc. It's a mess. Taking her back into the home is not option. I just live in a constant state of worry over money, how I'm going to make ends meet and the thought of having to spend out several hundred dollars each month for what could still be years and having no control over that has me literally sick inside.

priscilla, Have you spoken with the Elder Care lawyer yet? He/she can really help you sort through all this mess.