Hello, I am wondering if anyone that is a family caregiver (i am 24 hr caregiver for my alzheimer grandmother) knows what kind of pay to require??? If I wasn't here she would have to hire a 24 home health aide or be placed in a nursing home. I moved here from another state and sold all my belonging but still need to finish college and have SOME money. I am not sure what to ask for. Also, since we are in a court battle with one of my aunts over this, has anyone known of a family caregiver to awarded back-pay? I have beemn here 8 months, 24 hrs a day (with one weekend off) and have only recieved a pay of $300 this and last month. $300 is quite a hard pay to live off on even if I do live rent free! Anybody know how to settle this? By the way, I am in ohio
"Procrastinate now!! Don't put it off!---- Ellen Degeneres
Posts: 591 | Location: sarasota | Registered: January 15, 2006
Caregivers typically make an average of about $16.00 per hour BUT with Alzheimer's paitents that amount can go up to a minimum of $25.00 per hour. Care giving companies charge about $6,000 a month for 24 hour a day care.
Tell your aunt to check how much caregiving for Alzheimer patients cost and I bet she will back off you. It is a sizeable amount.
Posts: 287 | Location: Southern California | Registered: February 25, 2005
You definitely need to work something out, get it on paper and get the money NOW or you won't get anything. Don't settle on getting it as "inheritance," either. Get it now.
This is a classic with families that most of the heirs are willing to do nothing for the person they expect to inherit from, no matter what her condition. But they don't think that should affect how much money they get and if anyone in the family does something to care for the elderly person, its supposed to be for free.
Does someone have Power of Attorney for your grandmother now? I have my mother living in my home now and I have the POA. I didn't plan it but I am so glad I have that document so that my family is treated fairly. I think I would have been a real fool to take my mother into my home if someone else had the POA and I had to wait for him to give me anything and save receipts every time I took her to get her hair cut or bought her something to wear. I'd be after him all the time. And I'd be the one with her at the doctor's and the adult day center and they'd be after me for their money because he'd be slow as molasses paying their bills.
Well i am definately not in any kind of line for an "inheritance" I will leave this situation (when the granny is gone) with bad credit (from the lack of pay and being unable to pay bills for the last 8 months), no furniture and having to start over like I am 18 again (I am now 33). The aunt that I was speaking of now has POA and that is why I have been having a hard time getting any pay. She feels since I live here for free I should be happy with that. I keep trying to get her to realilze that a live in Health-aide would live here for free too and get a pay! I see this is a common problem from reading old posts on this board. I came here to save my grandma from a nursing home and to save her money from hiring an outside worker, but my goodness....i didn't know i'd have to live below welfare standards!! FAMILY!
"Procrastinate now!! Don't put it off!---- Ellen Degeneres
Posts: 591 | Location: sarasota | Registered: January 15, 2006
angel, You have to protect yourself and if that means telling your aunt that you're leaving and she will have to arrange for care for your grandmother, thats what you have to do. People will not care about being fair to you; they probably weren't fair to your grandmother.
And you have to make sure your aunt knows you're serious. It will only get worse. Obviously, your grandmother will be gone at some not very distant time in the future and the aunt will want you out of the house and you'll be on your own.
If you're not in the drivers seat, if your aunt really doesn't appreciate that without you, her mother's money and house and everything she hopes to inherit would be gone, then you should get out now. People who have to pay strangers for home healthcare for a parent treat their home healthcare aide like gold if she's reliable and honest.
<T.O.R.P.>
Posted
quote:
Does someone have Power of Attorney for your grandmother now? I have my mother living in my home now and I have the POA. I didn't plan it but I am so glad I have that document so that my family is treated fairly. I think I would have been a real fool to take my mother into my home if someone else had the POA and I had to wait for him to give me anything and save receipts every time I took her to get her hair cut or bought her something to wear. I'd be after him all the time. And I'd be the one with her at the doctor's and the adult day center and they'd be after me for their money because he'd be slow as molasses paying their bills.
Trust me when I say: KEEP RECEIPTS ANYWAY. POA will NOT protect you against greedy, plotting relatives. I won't go into details of our story, but protect yourself from slander. Document EVERYTHING.
The awful thing about this whole ordeal is that since I have been here, I have sold EVERYTHING i owned except my bedroom furniture. Also, my credit is bad now because of non-payment of bills from having no pay all this time (and it is hard to get an apartment without a credit check now-a-days). Also, i have no money to move out....BUT MORE IMPORTANT, no matter what, I am not leaving my grandmother. She has just gotten used to me and is used to me being here and I would hate to think about her mind being all confused by a stranger coming in to take care of her now. Even though this aunt is making my life hell, I am here for my grandmother's sake and will just pray for a positive outcome when God does take her away from our family. I have been told by family members that I can stay here in the house until I get back on my feet (when the granny pass's). I am sure that will be ANOTHER fight but i'll deal with it then. For now, I will just wait till we go to court and hope the court orders some kind of resolution. Does anyone know if court's will order a pay for a family caregiver??? I do know the social workers asked me about it so i dont know if they will ask the courts to pay me or not.
"Procrastinate now!! Don't put it off!---- Ellen Degeneres
Posts: 591 | Location: sarasota | Registered: January 15, 2006
This is a classic with families that most of the heirs are willing to do nothing for the person they expect to inherit from, no matter what her condition. But they don't think that should affect how much money they get and if anyone in the family does something to care for the elderly person, its supposed to be for free.
That is SO true! Or else they don't do anything and then it all turns into a mess after the person dies. My husband and his sister left it all to the ex-wife. She did all the caregiving and did not make an agreement for money. She ended up taking money out of the ATM and out of the mother's investment accounts. She could have gone to jail, had the family prosecuted. No one knew about this mess until after the mother had died. Then there was fighting and it broke up the family. Now my husband's 3 adult kids no longer speak to him for bringing up the embezzlement. But he should have not been avoidant, and should have made an agreement for the caregiver (his ex) to get paid.
Posts: 85 | Location: West Coast | Registered: March 29, 2005
Does anyone know if court's will order a pay for a family caregiver??? I do know the social workers asked me about it so i dont know if they will ask the courts to pay me or not.
You have to ask for it legally. If you are passive and don't do anything to stand up for yourself, no one else is going to ask for you to get paid. Also, make sure you don't take any money from grandma that the relatives could accuse you of embezzlement for.
Posts: 85 | Location: West Coast | Registered: March 29, 2005
Long Distance Daughter, Thats an interesting story. Your husband's ex-wife was probably a saint to care for her former mother-in-law. The least expensive institutionalized care, assisted living, is $5,000 a month so whatever that ex-wife got, whether someone wants to call it "embezzlement" or whatever, was probably cheap.
I wonder if a lawsuit would have gone anywhere. I doubt that the state would get involved in prosecuting this case. If someone gives you her debit card, would the court not see that as the same as Power of Attorney? Particularly when the money went for the care of the debit card owner? Most of the time, these notions people get about suing go no where because there isn't that much money involved and every time you talk to your own lawyer, it costs you money. And theres no guarantee you'll win.
My take is that the 3 kids stood by their mother because they know what their mother went through to care for that elderly woman. Unless you're the one doing it or in the household, you have no idea how it takes over your life to care for an elderly person. People can compare it to taking care of children but IMO its nothing like that at all. For example: For the rest of her life I will be nagging my mother to go to the bathroom and to wear a pad so that she doesn't have an accident that ruins my furniture. When she was little, daughter never had an accident like that because I put the diaper on her myself until she was potty trained and then when she was potty trained, the whole issue was over. With my mother, I know that this is an issue that will continue the rest of her life. I have to be discreet about it; I have to be careful about her feelings; I have to repeat myself over and over (one of the hardest aspects of dealing with someone who has dementia; its so tedious to keep repeating things);I have to protect my husband from knowing about it because it will upset him; etc. etc. For years and years to come and only one of several such issues.
Reply With QuoteEdit or Delete MessageReport This Post Previous Topic | Next Topic Powered by Eve For Enterprise How old are these posts anyway????Is this a ghost site that has been long ago abandones? Am I all alone here? someone...anyone??
Please Wait. Your request is being processed... Eve For Enterprise (Learn More About Eve) [x] Site The ElderCare Forum Servlet eve1da013 Version 1.3.1.21 Module Forums 4.0.3 Stylesheet "ElderCare Forum Style" Wordlet Set "Default Wordlet Set" Logout: The ElderCare Forum Update Groupee Account
Reply
ElderCare Online The ElderCare Forum The ElderCare Forum Hop To Forum Categories Legal, Financial & Insurance Matters family caregiver pay
Contact Us | ElderCare Online | Privacy Statement | Terms of Service
Babs, I don't know how you latched onto this old post, but rest assured, we are all still here and this is a very active site! Perhaps a moderator will catch your post and put it in a more appropriate spot. What's goin' on in your life that brought you to Elder Care?
