My MIL is 80 years old. She is declining physically but has a sharp mind. For the last six months she has been living with my BIL and his family in Ohio. When she moved in she put my BIL on her bank account so he could use her money to pay her bills, estc. My husband and I live in Tennessee. At the moment my MIL is in a nursing facility being evaluated for whether she needs long term care in this facility, she is on Medicare but doesn't have Medicaid yet. Since being there she gave my BIL power-of-attorney because he told her she couldn't get evaluated unless she did. My husband started suspecting something was wrong, because he knew this was a lie. He checked with her bank and while he couldn't get complete access to her account records the bank president did tell him his mother had almost no money in her checking or savings account! When she moved in she had $7000 in savings and several hundred in checking, plus a $1300/mo. SS check. She also had furniture my BIL sold, but she never saw the money he got for that and she had a car with a blue book value of $5000 that he sold. My husband and I have been talking to several elderly advisors and my BIL got wind of it. At first he cussed my husband out for calling him a theif. My husband was very calm and said, "If you don't have anything to hide then show Mom's bank records. If I have wrongly accused you I will be happy to apologize." A few hours later my BIL called and left a message saying he was going to hide his mom's money to defraud medicaid. He then called and talked to my husband. He confessed to stealing all my MIL's money and spending it on his bills. His exact words were, "I had to! I lost my job and I needed it to pay my bills and pay for my COBRA insurance. I had to take care of my family!" A 54 YO man stealing from his 80 YO mother on social security! Disgusting! Anyway, my question is--what can we do to help my MIL from here? Tomorrow she is being sent copies of her bank statements and she is going to find out that she is broke. We called the facility he is in and asked the human services department to please be with her. What can be done to BIL to force him to give my MIL her money back? My MIL has been told her son has been stealing from her, but she doesn't want to believe it. I don't think she is in the physical or emotional state to prosecute him herself. Is there anything we can do? Does anyone have any ideas???

I would contact an attorney, at once. That's terrible. I sure hope things work out.

Welcome to ECO J, Your BIL is in more trouble than any of you know. If she were merely living in his home and had signature rights for her banking, that would be merely disgusting. Once he became her POA,he signed a legally binding agreement to use her monies and properties for her best interest and not for personal use or gain. (At least in my state, check Ohio). Still, he had a right to charge her rent and have her pay for her groceries and part of utilities. I think her SS should have covered that, though, and left her savings alone.

No longer is what he did merely disgusting, it is now criminal. Tread lightly here. Has he got a job prospect? If he goes to jail, he may never work again. Private attorneys are not free, but may be able to work out a settlement where he doesn't serve time and your H takes over as POA.

WHAT WAS HE THINKING!!!! Medicare/Medicaid has a look back period for as much as 5 years, maybe more in some states. Before she is eligible for funds, they will check this out. If Adult Protective Services gets involved (that would be an option for your H) they will get answers and it won't be fun for him. It will break your MIL's heart for sure.

Yes this is outrageous behavior for a grown man. What would he have done if he hadn't had the option of stealing from his mother??? Sell his home, file bankruptcy,,,,

I am so sorry to hear about this. Please don't react in anger though. (You would be justified certainly, but the mony is gone) How will he pay her back from jail?

Excuse me, I think I need to take a time out before I type something that could get me booted out of here.

Justagintennessee welcome in sweetie glad to have you.

Im sorry a criminal is a criminal is a criminal.
He knowingly stole his mothers hard earned money WHILE he was taking care of her?! AND then admits to it?!
Boy that takes criminals stuck on stupid to a whole new level in my book!
Uh me say "Dont pass go Dont collect $200 smackers yer goin ta jail ya thief"
Call an attorney toot sweet my dear and get that POA in your hot lil hands quick like!

OUTRAGEOS!!!The persom mom though she could trust to represnt her has stolen all she has.
I would call a lawyer and have him have to answer for this.You never know who you can trust.You can be fooled too many times.Shame on him.
So he cannot go under but it is ok for his mother.HOW DARE HE

justagintennassee, You are still very welcome and here it is almost a day later and my teeth are still grinding. I can only imagine how you and your husband feel.

BIL should feel very vulnerable now, it is out of the family's hands, if APS gets wind of this.. And if he applies for Medicaid for her, they will want to know what happened to the money that she had a few months ago and no record of how it was spent. You and your H won't have to call anyone.

I have seen others think that POA means they can do what ever they please with the funds and BOY are they ever wrong. It is a legal court document. At the very least it can be viewed as contempt of court. (And that would be getting off light)

Bro has Mom's POA, I have her debit card. He won't take a dime for himself, and he is entitled to something for his work.

If your BIL had not been a lying thief,,, if he had begged for help and discussed the funds,,, but he is a lying thief. He has a lot to make up for, and I hope he can. When I think of his poor wife and kids, it make me nauseous. He wouldn't be the first person to destroy his own life and that of loved ones by being monumentally STUPID.

quote:

Originally posted by Bobcat:
justagintennassee, You are still very welcome and here it is almost a day later and my teeth are still grinding. I can only imagine how you and your husband feel.

BIL should feel very vulnerable now, it is out of the family's hands, if APS gets wind of this.. And if he applies for Medicaid for her, they will want to know what happened to the money that she had a few months ago and no record of how it was spent. You and your H won't have to call anyone.

I have seen others think that POA means they can do what ever they please with the funds and BOY are they ever wrong. It is a legal court document. At the very least it can be viewed as contempt of court. (And that would be getting off light)

Bro has Mom's POA, I have her debit card. He won't take a dime for himself, and he is entitled to something for his work. I keep every receipt.

If your BIL had not been a lying thief,,, if he had begged for help and discussed the funds,,, but he is a lying thief. He has a lot to make up for, and I hope he can. When I think of his poor wife and kids, it make me nauseous. He wouldn't be the first person to destroy his own life and that of loved ones by being monumentally STUPID.