Hi, my mom was diagnosed with cancer this last Christmas Eve. Though she had a will in place, she didn't have power of attorneys done. I convinced her to get them done and now they ARE done and things are so much smoother...with much less stress on my part since I am living with her and caring for her.

Please, if your loved one does not have one of these, please urge them to get them done. I'm finding with my friends' parents that some of them aren't thinking about that limbo region between life and death--what happens if you become incapacitated--who will handle your affairs and represent your wishes?

Good going, amsunshine...

Having that all important legal work out of the way is quite freeing. So glad you and your mother had the foresight to accomplish that worthy task.

Godspeed to you and your mother and may there be many joyful days ahead...Joan Marie

"Dream as though you will live forever. Love as though you will die tomorrow."

amsunshine, very good advice. Sadly, it seems that by the time most people find this forum, they are already at a point where POAs must either have been done already - or need to be done immediately without hesitation - along with other legal matters that are of great use to any cg. Unfortunately, many parents and children seem to have a lot of difficulty talking about these very vital matters and it often gets put off until there is a crisis. Thanks for reminding everyone to get those issues settled sooner, rather than later, and I do hope you will post again and let us know more about you. Take care - Melissa

"Whatever tomorrow brings, I"ll be there-with open arms and open eyes"

Yes, it feels good to have these done. In our case there WAS a crisis. Mom is deteriorating rapidly from lung cancer (was dx'ed this last Christmas Eve, and since she's been home she's been losing 5 lbs. per week).

I needed to increase her pain meds but from our experience in the hospital, near that level would increase confusion and hallucinations. Once I got myself in gear (researching 6 attorneys and picking one--in mini-presentation format to my mom so she'd feel comfortable with my suggested pick), it took me a week of gentle insistence to finzalize the papers. I wanted her lucid and mentally alert to sign the papers. The doctor knew we wanted to do this (and was trying to regulate pain meds AND keep her alert enough to sign), but the 3 weeks that Mom was in the hospital, I was unsuccessful in convincing her to let me call an attorney. Only when she'd been home a week and had some time to recoup a little sleep did she agree for me to make the call.

I have now increased her meds and the confusion has increased only slightly and no additional hallucinations (thank God). The doctors said she could have a stroke, or her neck could break (lung cancer has metastized to the bones in her neck--making her bones very fragile--and one of her ribs as of a month and a half ago), and then she'd be out of commission to sign anything.

So that's why it was so important to get those papers signed expediently.